Marriage
Tradition of Kalash
Marriage is
one of the universal social institutions established to control and regulate
the life of mankind. The marriage tradition generally transforms the roles and
responsibilities of two individuals. It is closely associated with the
institution of family. In fact both the institutions are complementary to each
other. The institution of marriage has different implications in different
cultures. Its purposes, functions and forms may differ from society to society
but it is present everywhere as an institution. Anthropologists recognize
marriage as a way to describe how different societies organize and understood
the consequences mating. Westermarck in 'History of Human Marriage' defines
marriage as the more or less durable connection between male and female lasting
beyond the mere act of propagation till after the birth of offspring. According
to Malinowski “marriage is a contract for the production and maintenance of
children”. Robert Lowie describes marriage as a “relatively permanent bond
between permissible mates”. For Horton and Hunt “marriage is the approved
social pattern whereby two or more persons establish a family”.
There are several different types of marriage, each of which is based upon numbers of individuals united by the marriage bond and the kinship relations between them. Each type of marriage contributes to the formation of one or more social groups in the societies in which it occurs, and each may influence directly or indirectly, the ways in which other social groups are formed1 (Schwartz & Ewald1968: 262).
It is a
form of marriage in which one man marries one woman. It is the most common and
acceptable form of marriage. It has two types serial and straight monogamy. In
serial monogamy individuals are permitted to marry again in case of the death
of the first spouse or after divorce, but they cannot have more than one spouse
at the same time2, and the other is straight monogamy where
remarriage is not allowed under any circumstances.
Polygyny
It is a
form of marriage in which one man marries more than one woman at a given time.
It has two types --- Sororal polygyny and non sororal polygyny in sororal
polygyny the man can marry more than one sister. In non-sororal polygyny the
wives are not related as sisters.
Polyandry
It is the
marriage of a woman with more than one man. It is not common as polygyny. It has two types---- Fraternal Polyandry and
non fraternal polyandry. In Fraternal
polyandry several brothers share the same wife the practice can be called
alelphic or fraternal polyandry3. This practice of being mate,
actual or potential to one’s husband’s brothers is called levirate. It is
prevalent among Todas. Where as in Non - fraternal polyandry the husband need
not have any close relationship prior to the marriage. The wife goes to spend
some time with each husband. So long as a woman lives with one of her
husband’s; the others have no claim over her4.
Group Marriage
It means
the marriage of two or more women with two or more men. Here the husbands are
common husbands and wives are common wives. Children are regarded as the
children of the entire group as a whole.
Rules of
Marriage
No society
gives absolute freedom to its members to select their partners. Endogamy and
exogamy are the two main rules that are followed in marital choice.
Endogamy
It is a
rule of marriage in which the life-partners are to be selected within the
group. It is marriage within the group and the group may be caste, class,
tribe, race, village, religious group etc. We have caste endogamy, class
endogamy, sub caste endogamy, race endogamy and tribal endogamy etc. In caste
endogamy marriage has to take place within the caste. Brahmin has to marry a Brahmin.
In sub caste endogamy it is limited
to the sub caste groups5.
Exogamy
It is a
rule of marriage in which an individual has to marry outside his own group or
clan. It prohibits marrying within the group. The so-called blood relatives
shall neither have marital connections nor sexual contacts among themselves.
The people of Kalash strictly follow exogamy it is prohibited to marry within
ones clan or lineage.
Tribal Marriage
·
Marriage by exchange.
·
Marriage by capture is where a man forcibly marries a woman.
·
Marriage by intrusion is where a woman forcibly marries
a man.
·
Marriage by probation allow a man to stay at woman
place for weeks together after which
if they decide to get married.
·
Marriage by purchase or giving bride price. A man is
required to give an agreed amount
of cash/kind to the parents of the bride as price which usually varies
according to the physical beauty and utility of the bride.
·
Marriage by service is where the man serves at his
father-in-law's house before marriage.
·
Marriage by trial.
·
Marriage by mutual
consent.
·
Marriage by elopement6.
The marriage
practices also serve as a space for identity, when particularly studied in any
given culture. They display the
psychology and superstitions of any society. Every
society has its own unique wedding traditions which are very sacred to
them and any sort of defiance can cast negativity and misfortune for the couple
and the extended family. The Kalash follow a patriarchal system and observe
polygynous society where a man can keep more than on wife. They follow tribal
marriage rules and most of the above
mentioned features of tribal marriage are present in their culture. Kalash
words for marrying do not refer to relationship between parents but
specifically to the transformation of girl into wife. In Kalash language a
woman’s marriage is referred to as “ja
thi aau” she became a wife, for male it is “ja kai aau” he became a husband.
The act of getting married for man in Kalash is referred to “as janik”, and the parents give “dik” their daughter in marriage “jadek”7.
Marriage Tradition
and Economic Exchange
Bride price
“mal`zuk” is an amount of money,
property or wealth paid by the groom or his family to the parents of a woman
upon the marriage. The bride price is the gift that has the purpose to maintain
the permanency of the two groups' social relationship by compensating the loss
of one object, the daughter or her ability to work, by another object, money or
most often livestock. The bride wealth may also be seen as custom of
maintenance for the wife in the event of the breakup of marriage, and family maintenance
in the event of the husband not providing adequately for the wife in his will.
Another purpose performed by the
amount was to provide a disincentive for the husband to divorce his wife; he
would need to have a certain amount to be able to pay to the wife.
The bride price or bride wealth system constitutes an important role in the distribution of family property and the
arrangement of exchanges and alliances among families in many societies. This
institution specifies that a prospective husband, usually with the help of his
relatives, must provide a substantial sum of money or highly valued goods to
his future wife's family before a marriage can be contracted. In many patrilineal societies including
Kalash the payment is also made for the rights to assign children to their
father's family rather than to their mother’s8. The dowry and bride
price is also pre determined before marriage according to the economic and
social status of the bride and the bridegroom. The institution of marriage for
Kalash has been subjected to numerous
transitional changes as the impact of modernization increased. In past the
matrimonial decision were arranged by the
parents who were regarded as the ultimate
authority to invite bids or
proposals. Those who bid more, win the hand “baza” of the bride.
“The
bride price consists of gun, trunks,
and 40 to 50 animals including goats and sheep’s and big cooking pots. It is
stored in the adjacent room of the house, which was conferred at the first
meeting of both the parties. Each member of the boy`s lineage
contributes to the preparation, by bringing some gift with him to help the member of their lineage, so that in
future if they need their help; they are helped in the same way. This economic cooperation is limited to the close members of the
family, but if there is a matter of honor then the entire lineage gets involved
in the economic cooperation”9.
Bride
wealth is known simply as mal, or property and consists of
ceremonial wealth objects and live stock including grains, biscuits, cheese
"chamani”, oil, sugar sakhor and tea “cay” etc (Wynne, 2001:181)10. Parkes state that in late
1970 the normal expectation of bride wealth includes “at least sixty articles (soren) would be given during the early
stages of the marriage, a third of
which should be major wealth object. Parkes added that bride price also
includes the cost of feast arranged for the wife’s lineage food items given to
the wife’s household or house hold’s of her lineage in the event of funeral,
gifts of grains, cheese, live stock that are given to the households of the
wife’s lineage, and items that are requested, by
distant affines (Parkes 1983:535)11.
To date
this amount is fixed as standard, however a gift of cash is now included in the bride price ranging
from 5000 to 10, 000 depending on the economical prosperity of the bride groom
and his lineage. The terms of the bride price contract depends on a very
careful consideration of the possession of the parties, their respective social
position and reputation, and of what the man`s household can materially provide to balance the women`s
promise to increase the size of “hive”. The price of the bride also known as “kauk- Kauk literally child- child is basically the price of generation12.
The second
form of economic exchange associated with wedding tradition is dowry commonly known as jhes in the subcontinent. Dowry is a transfer of wealth, usually
flowing from a woman’s parents or family when she is to be married in the form
of money, land or other goods. Often, the husband brings various forms of
wealth to a newly created household, and a dowry is thought of as the wife’s
donation, to the household or the husband. Dowry can also be viewed as
inheritance for the woman, though this is usually in cultures where both men
and women are heirs. In other cases, such as in socially stratified societies,
a dowry gives a woman the security of knowing that after she is married she can
still enjoy her usual lifestyle and in the case of divorce, avoid poverty and
discomfort. If the husband and wife are to be divorced, the wife is able to get
back the dowry that her parents had given. Usually, a woman with a greater
dowry is able to find herself a rich husband, while a woman with a smaller
dowry is able to only find herself a poor husband.
In Kalash community there are two stages when a girl receives Jhes from her parents i.e. when she visits her parents first time as a married woman, and second time after child birth she receives gifts from her parents for her husband and in laws. According to tradition there are three types of dowries Coomon, Gajom Merat and Serik Dyek, but receiving jhes from their natal families seems to be expected but it is not necessarily required. For some families it is just given once. The ceremony takes place after the birth of the first child, because it is only than the marriage is expected to be securely established. Natal families organize a small feast and call their daughter and her In-laws to come for a feast. It is a way of honoring the daughter and her new family and establishing equality between in laws13 (Wynne 2001:191). It also contributes to woman’s dependence in important emotional and material ways. (Parkes 1983: 534) noted that the normal quantity of jhes given in 1979 was;
5-10 Sheep
15-20 Muti (one year old goat)
1-2 cows or bulls
(presented by maternal uncle)
Several woven goat’s hair
rugs, blankets which are used in bed. 1 Tohon (Trunk)
1 valuable metal cup
Some
wealthy families sometimes also give their daughters cash of Rs. 5000/-
or more, one or two walnut trees, or apple or apricot trees depending
upon their economical position. The amount of jhes given during my field work was the same. However china,
ceramic, glass utensils, clothes, sweaters, jackets and tennis shoes are also
included in the jhes.
The Wedding Tradition of Kalash
·
Arrange Marriage Khaltabare
·
Elopement or love marriage
·
Wife Elopement
Arrange
marriages were the traditional method of marriage in the past where the parents
and elders have the privilege to decide the fate of their children. They were responsible for the choice of spouse,
date of marriage, and bride price. Such marriages were arranged at a very young
age. Commonly the Kalash girls “istariza gauk” are given “dek” before
their teenage, well before when they know
the meaning of the word marriage, and understand
the extent of relationship, or even know their own preference for husband, or
to the man sometimes much older than they are, or to be engaged to a man whose
previous wife had eloped with a lover, or are promised into matrimony to a child of their own age. Age difference between the couple was
not an issue.
The
parent’s main concern was the prosperity of bridegroom for a sustainable and
safe future of their daughter.
In case of
intentional or unintentional violation the defiant couple is not physically
punished or banished from the society disgracefully. They experience a social boycott “Bahira”. They are valedicted from
entering the holy places and participating in religious festivals. The
immediate families though remain associated and interact formally, inherit the
shame for generations. On the funeral of such cases the descendents are allowed
to beat the tambourines. Aspa~n clan
of Anish village Bumburet had suffered this condemnation but in those days due
to less population and economic depression the rules were relaxed and on the
basis of the sacrifice made to the
goddesses to seek forgiveness for the crime committed
by their elders and to salvage
their family honor and prestige, were allowed to participate and attend the
rituals and religious gatherings.
Like Muslims the enormous difference in age is
ignored because of the wealth and economical
prosperity. In present-day due to frequent interaction, the young couples are
capable of making decisions regarding marriage. In Kalash society parents do
not strongly oppose the decision of their children nor is the family honor violated through their mutual
understanding. Since it is a small society parents of both boy and girl are fairly aware of their
children`s intentions. If they have no
objection to the attachment, they allow
it to reach its logical conclusion. In case of objection and disagreement they convince their children to end the
relationship. In case of defying parents will, the couple elopes to get
married. The parents initially disassociate themselves from the couple but this
lasts for a very short period.
There was
one incident when a boy Zafar of Rumbour was madly in love with the Shernaz daughter of the Qazi of Batrik
village Bumburet. The girl’s parents were against the marriage but the couple
eloped, their parents were furious and were not willing to accept this union.
But after a month Shernaz decided to
separate herself from her husband and went back to live at her parents’
house. This marriage was ended before
the bride wealth was discussed and exchanged. But if parents find their
daughter well received and respected in the house of bridegroom they accept the union. Conventionally the
bride and her husband with gifts visit her parent’s house as a request for
forgiveness and parents in most instances open heartedly accept the will of
their daughter. Afterwards the marriage ceremony
is celebrated according to the
customs and the whole community participates to share the happiness. The
marriage ceremony in Kalash is celebrated as a major cultural event.
In a
Traditional Kalash wedding the maternal uncle of the groom is sent to the
girl’s house with the proposal. If the girl’s parents accepts the proposal,
then the father of both the families meet formally to decide the details of
wedding. Later the groom’s family along with their relatives visits the
girl’s house for the formal announcement of engagement. The gifts are exchanged
in form of cash, utensils, and clothes. The engagement ceremony is very simple but dramatic when they reach the
bride’s home the groom kisses the hands of his in-laws and the esteemed
relatives gracing the occasion.
Traditional Kalasha food i.e. cheese, butter, butter oil (chamani) is served with traditional wheat bread (tusali). Afterwards all the guests left for their homes except for the groom. He stays at the in-laws home for three to four days, to develop a certain level of understanding and acceptance with his new family. The in-laws depart him with gifts and 5 to 8 large loafs of walnut breads (gellete) for his family. When the girl reaches her puberty her parents sent few elders to the bride groom home to finalize the date and time of wedding. Both the parents make list of items which are included in the bride price. They very carefully calculate the number of items included. For this the bride relatives stays at the groom’s residence where they are received with great hospitality. Next day the boys family visits the bride’s house along with the bride price, they are served with a lavish feast. They stay for the night and the relatives of both side dance and celebrate by consuming cheese, meat, butter, bread and wine. Next day the bride family along with their relatives visits the groom’s village where the groom’s family and friends receive them with great respect and honor. Here especial meal is prepared for the bride family and relatives. After having meal the ritual of hand kissing is performed by the members of both the families.
The wedding
ritual formally starts with a prayer in jistak han (traditional sanctuary) in
front of the god Jistak who is
believed to be the protector of the family, married life children and
fertility. Like every society Qazi the
religious preacher solemnized the marriage ceremony. The Qazi along with the
members of bride groom and a sacrificial animal preferably a sheep, or a goat,
and pure bread go to jistak han. Here
they built a fire in the middle of the
hall. Two male members wash their hands and one of them picks the sacrificial
animal and the other after throwing the juniper leaves in the fire cuts the
throat of the animal. Then he picks the blood in his hand and throws it in the fire and later sprinkles
on the jestik-han emblem and in the end
sprinkle it on the faces of bride and groom. Later he separates the neck of the
animal, cuts small portion of ear to put in the fire, this ritual is termed as saurus means the purification of the
animal. During the sacrificial ritual the Qazi and other guests participating
pray to the god jistak for love,
sincerity, longevity, prosperity, affection and fertility among the couple.
After the formal ceremony of marriage (shish-
istangoce) the bride is purified she washes her hands till elbow and hold five (onjesta jasoon) pure bread in her hands,
the Qazi burned the juniper leaves and revolves it around the bride three times
and throw them in fire. Later the qazi cuts the bread in small bite sizes and
threw them in fire. He gave few pieces to the bride and requests her to eat the
bread. This formally ends the marriage ritual and the couple is pronounced man and wife. Now the girl formally
starts living at her in- laws house.
In case of pregnancy occurring during the period of
courting, the marriage is often
solemnized and the girl leaves her parents house to live with the boys family.
Marriages of such nature are not appreciated and favored but are tolerated and
children born are considered legitimate. It is customary that the couple must
sacrifice a goat in jestk-han and
sprinkle the blood in the presence of family members
and the villagers for the prosperity and
success of the marriage. If the couple fails to comply “sisa~istongas”
in the jestk-han the child born
without this ceremony is considered illegitimate and cursed.
Wife
Elopement is the third type of marriage the wife abandons her husband and
elopes with her lover. In case of
wife’s second marriage the husband claims the bride price which is now double
the amount of initial payment known as don
dond.
“If the initial
payment comprised of 4 bulls, 20 iron
dishes, 15 jugs, 3 kg of tobacco, 6 rifles, 2 kg of honey,20 goats
and 10 kg of wheat, the equivalent in pebbles*
would be 4+20+15+3+6+2+20+10= 80. The
inventory is made with the agreement; of both parties the number of stones is
doubled to establish the exact price of remarriage”817
The husband
will claim the rights of children. If the new suitor fails to fulfill the
doubled inventory the wife is returned to the previous husband, who now
possesses the right to keep her or to sell her off to the best bidder. Besides
if a husband suspects his wife for adultery, he can sell her. Adultery on the other hand is looked down
upon as everywhere else in the world, but is not considered a taboo in the
Kalash society. The concept of honor of the family
is not associated in events of violations of such level therefore there
are very few honor killings and violence against women in this unique society.
However there are a few instances of honor killing but they lead towards the involvement of Muslims. The people have
declared those deaths as accidents and don’t want to talk about them.
In past the
Kalash were perceived to be polygamous18 and the man with more wives
was considered prestigious and these “multiplicities of wives were symbolic to
social success and longetivity”19. But the Kalash males now limit
themselves to a maximum of two wives. The permission for second marriage is
recommended only in cases of sterility or when the first wife fails to produce
a male child which is necessary to continue the family name. The wives often
share the same roof and divide the portion of the house according to their
requirement having separate stores.20
The elder
wife retains the symbolic privileged position
but husbands are more inclined towards the mother of his heirs. Beside
this bigamy is not appreciated and approved by
the society. But the person concerned is not alienated from the society. It is left on the liking of the
first wife that whether she wants to remain with the same man or leave him. She
is partially a free woman, and can
marry any suitable suitor or return to her parent’s house. In case of having children she has every right to claim
and keep them. If she plans to marry again the bride price will be paid to the
father of the bride.
Complications
do arise in cases involving intermarriages between a Muslims boy and a Kalash female. The Kalash girl has
to change her religion leave her traditional kalasha ensamble and embrace
Islam. This may at times lead to the
issue like inheritance, when the parents disassociate them from their daughter
and her husband. But later after the birth of the grandchild they forgive the children and develop normal
relationship. The Kalash families are received with equal respect by the bridegroom‘s Muslim family and relatives. Though there are few
instances of family disputes regarding
property and inheritance which require the intervention of jirga. The cases
which come to the jirga for
resolution are very complicated in nature the following case is very unique and
conflicting. A married Kalash woman had left her husband with a small daughter
eloped alas~in with a Muslim. The
jilted husband brought up the daughter in the Kalash tradition. The daughter
now twenty one also married a Muslim and got converted to Islam. The Girl`s
father was devastated and strongly objected to this marriage and broke off any
relationship with his daughter. Now the father is dead, leaving his daughter “chu” and brothers “baya”as a legal heir to his property. The daughter and her husband
claimed their legal share in her father`s property according to Islamic law..
The paternal uncles of the girl took charge of the deceased property. The case
is now under consideration of the jirga. However in actual fact two cultural and
social values and code of conduct are contesting on the basis of religious ideology,
ironically both the parties
involved have a fundamental
legitimate ground on the property yet both are victims. The case involved
decision on two points:
1.
Whether the girl
is entitled to inheritance under the particular circumstances after being
excommunicated by the father on her
getting married to Kalash Muslim.
2.
When the girl is
entitled to inheritance under the common law of land, then who should bear the
expenses incurred on the traditional funeral rituals following the death.
The claim
of husband is that when his wife is a Muslim she is entitled to the property
under the Muslim law. This issue was contested by the girl’s paternal uncles
although the Kalash custom is silent on this subject. Moreover, they agreed to pay the expenses incurred by her
paternal uncles on the funeral. The case was discussed in the jirga for three days but no mutually
agreed decision was reached, whilst researcher was present there. The case was
then to be heard by civil court
of Chitral. The purpose of mentioning this particular
case explains conflicts because of identity crisis
emerging out of the relationships of persons belonging to two different
cultural and religious groups. The whole thing was conducted with a detached
approach without the tempers being lost of any side and in a very peaceful manner.
To witness this is something very rare since we are aware of reactions
regarding such situations in the so called civilized world.
The identity of any community is directly associated with its lineage “Kam” and it has been observed that the mothers have more dominant effect on the children. The traditional culture can only be practiced and exercised if the society is living in isolation and have no level of communication with other alien groups. The traditional culture can only exist in a specific periphery or genealogical territory. But when the material environment is changed opportunities, beliefs, class structure, and positionality, ideals and stance is also changed or deviated. This stage brings a contestation of ideology between the orthodoxy and heterodoxy. The orthodoxy tries to implement the old traditions and resist change, but the heterodoxy emerges and establishes a new rhythm of practice which is a refined form of old traditions according to the present demands and requirement. People have to leave their cultural setting and in doing so they take their traditional culture in a specific time. But fortunately culture cannot be bounded by the elements like time and space21 though it exist in an imagined space where people believe that they belong to the same space by utilizing technology, ideology, media. Further all these spaces interact and create a unique and distinguished cultural identity.
1 Schwartz, A. B &
Ewald. H. R, 1968, Culture and Society: An Introduction to cultural
Anthropology. The Ronald Press Company.
2 Ibid.
3 Goldstein, M. C. (1976). "Fraternal
Polyandry and Fertility in a High Himalayan Valley in Northwest Nepal". Human Ecology 4 (3): 223–233.
4 Levine, Nancy, 1988, The dynamics of
polyandry: Kinship, domesticity and population on the Tibetan border, Chicago:
University of Chicago Press
5 Roseman
A& Rubel P.G, 2009. The Tapestary of Culture: An Introduction to the
Cultural Anthropology. Mc Graw- Hill International Edition
6 http://www.sociologyguide.com/marriage-family-kinship/Tribal-Marriage.php
7 Wynne, Maggie. 2001. Our Women Are Free: Gender and
Ethnicity in the Hindukush. Arbor Ann The University of Michigan Press
8 Gluckman , Max, 1953. Bride Wealth and the Stability of
Marriage, Man Vol. 53, pp. 141-143.
9 Unpublished M.Sc Thesis of Naz Shugufta 2009,
Ethnographic study of Kalash Community with Emphasis on Kinship and Marriage.
Department of Anthropology, Quaid-i- Azam University Islamabad.
10 Wynne, Maggi. 2001. Our Women Are Free: Gender and
Ethnicity in the Hindukush. Arbor Ann. The University of Michigan Press.
11 Ibid.
12 Loude,
Jean & Lievre. Viviane. Kalash Solistice. Lok Versa, Publications House p.
92
13 Wynne, Maggi. 2001. Our Women Are Free:
Gender and Ethnicity in the Hindukush. Arbor Ann. The University of Michigan
Press.
14 Haviland A. William 1987. Cultural Anthropology. 5th
Edition. p.231.
15 Levi Strauss. C. 1958. Kalash Solstice Written by
Loude. Yves. Jean & Lievre Viviane. 1988. Lok Versa Publication house.
16 Schuyler, Jones, 1974.: Men of Influence in Nuristan. A
Study of Social Control and Dispute Settlement in Waigal Valley, Afghanistan.
Seminar Press. London. New York.
17Loude, Jean &
Lievre. Viviane. 1988. Kalash Solistice. Lok Versa, Publications House. p.94
* to each object formerly presented by the son in laws
household there corresponds a unit measurement reckoned in pebbles.
18 Robertson. George: 1896 The Kafirs of Hindukush. Oxford
University Press Karachi 6th Impression 1995.
19 Levi Strauss, Claude 1969: The Elementary Structures of
Kinship. Translated by J.H. Bell and J.R.Von Strummer. ED. R Needham. Boston:
Beacon Press.
20 Robertson, George: 1896 The Kafirs of
Hindukush. Oxford University Press Karachi 6th Impression
21 Scaff. A, Lawrence: The Mind of the
Modernist: Simmel on Time. Article Published in the Journal “Time and Society”
site visited on Feb 03, 2008@ Sage publications. P 1-6.
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